De ofendidos están las redes llenas

 «La confianza da asco» 

«Internet favorece el anonimato»

«No tengo un smartphone (soy un triste)»

   

     Habremos escuchado esas frases millones de veces (y lo que te rondaré morena). La cosa cambia sustancialmente cuando, ni hay confianza, ni se da asco, ni se abusa del anonimato y que ya casi todo quisqui tiene un móvil chulo. Bienvenidos al Siglo XXI, y a sus Redes Sociales -a partir de ahora me referiré a dos grandes: Twitter o Facebook-.

     A menos que nos dediquemos a crear perfiles falsos con intención de suplantar la identidad de una persona/empresa, no es una actividad ilícita ni delictiva tener una cuenta en una red social. Hay perfiles de lo más cómicos y del todo ingeniosos, pero creo que nadie en su sano juicio daría (o debiera darle) credibilidad ni importancia alguna a estas cuentas.

Trabaja o ke ase

     Lo que suele hacer el personal es crearse una cuenta con su nombre o apodo, usar una foto suya o de su gato y una breve descripción de la cuenta. Hasta aquí todo normal.

     Si algo bueno tiene Twitter es la cercanía que ofrece con respecto a TODO lo que se ha visto hasta ahora. Ya no sólo hablamos de una superestrella del petardeo de la canción que, sin escribir apenas cuenta con más de 7 millones de seguidores (incondicionales, sin duda), si no también de los políticos, periodistas, pornstars, cocineros de turno...  Básicamente cualquier persona, ¡incluso el Papa! tienen una cuenta.

Habemus Twitter

     Si hay algo incluso mejor que el localizar alguien que te interesa y poder preguntarle cualquier cosa que te venga a la cabeza es que, además, te conteste. Twitter (y facebook...) está plagado de gente majísima. También pulula gente majísima que a veces se vuelve loca, pero también tenemos cabida los desequilibrados, que algunas veces nos comportamos como si fuéramos muy majos y luego como los c*br*n*s de mucho cuidado que somos.

     ¿Qué le vamos a hacer? Somos de naturaleza malvada. Ser malo es divertido, pero no siempre bien recibido. Los que ya son duchos en esto, no contestan, o lo hacen de manera correctísima. Es casi mejor pensar hacia uno mismo la poca gracia que tiene el g*l*p*ll*s de turno que alimentar a la bestia y permitir una nueva réplica dolorosa que deje evidencia lo estúpidos que somos y el poco sentido del humor que tenemos.

     He aquí un par de ejemplos de lo que hace la gente normal, extraídos de mi sección Haciendo Amigos®:

Baila el Chiky-Chiky, baila el Chiky-Chiky...

La Elegancia personificada en este cuerpo de runner:

      y eso que parece que Odriozola tiene motivos para estar calladito...

     Y esto siguiente es lo que hay que evitar, señores/as. No vayamos de superdignos ni de superofendidos:

El Palito Gratuito ;)

Palabra de Menda.

Ruling the world

     This is my very first post written in English. I hope it won't be too boring for me and could do it more often. 

     Luckily we (wife and myself), as a couple, have been able to travel abroad several times. We have gathered enough expertise to stablish a sort of personal journey manual with a Do list before flying, but we are not as smart (or prepared) as we thought we were... Let me tell you.

     Last Xmas the 'Three Wise Men' (they, Santa, your parents... call it whatever you want) gave my wife as a present a brand-new suitcase in order to replace her used one. Everything went smoothly until we noticed  the lack of a key for the padlock. We rummaged aroung in the case but found no key at all, so we decided to go back to the biggest department store in Spain (excluding the National Institute of Employment):

     We arrove to the baggage department and found a free employee that paid attention to us. As soon as we've told her our 'problem' slightly she smiled, then was when we noticed that it was a general issue (it is always disappointing to know that you're not unique). She explained:

"There is no key because you are not allowed to got it."

     Have you ever felt stupid? There we were. After a 22-kilometers drive we were told our visit was not worth... She went on:

"It's called TSA lock. TSA stands for Transportation Security Administration and only TSA employees got the key". 

     Okey. Then our faces turned from stupidity to annoyment and disbelief. Spaniards got a saying for this occasions: "Tócate los cojones, Mariloli". Guess all of you now are thinking in the ultra-famous What The F*CK?

     So, that's to say: North-Americans invented an integrated lock and placed it in all brand-new suicases and only they got a master key that can be used whenever they want to open your bag? This might be the best invention since Coke.

     Hey, waste a minute reading this thinking of mine:

Facts from the US

1. Everyone who has watched any American film wants to know the U.S.A.
2. According to statistics and reports, about 27.9 millions of visitors went to the U.S.A. in 2011 and this number was in growing tendency since then.
3. Apart from that, the US Goverment is now charging the visitors with a 14$ tax to ask for the Electronic System for Travel Authorization (ESTA).
4. They have chosen (twice) a President that any other country in the world envy even having such a charismatic candidate.

Facts from Spain

1. We are being governed by the sausage-eaters Germans (sincerelly, I knew this is not part of a theory but I still resist to set in as a fact).
2. We offer an extraordinary weather, with weeks plenty of sunny days.
3. We also got a formidable kitchen cuisine. (thanks @alemorill)
4. We are not systematically glad with our (and former)President.
5. We are MOSTLY known about our 'Siesta & Fiesta'.     

A piece of theory

     Some might say there are some things that americans love (as they don't ban them): Cheeseburguers, Guns, Freedom, Gambling, Pub Crawling, iGadgets, Death penalty...

     Why don't we, as the smart Spanish we are, mix all this things together -except the death penalty and the guns, that's for sure- and stablish a new American lobby in our country??? In that case, we could help them to'rule the world'. 

     Oh, wait! #EuroVegas is to come! (Somebody will make a good money...) $

     We'd be proud of having a prankster and charismatic President in our Government and also TSA locks won't be needed anymore! We could use the Spanish way of keeping hands off from our belongings:

     And, there should not be disscussion about this, all we know the best stuff do not come from the U.S.A., they come from much far:

This is Menda´s word  / Palabra de menda.


BTW, this is TSA locks don't seem to be so safe...